Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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