If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
