She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
