ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
