I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
