Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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