I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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