i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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