summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
