not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
