I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
