Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Randomize
