So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
She needs sedatives and a leash
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
