You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
