Sry I called you an 8
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
