Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
the condom got lost in my hair
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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