New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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