I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
