I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
