we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
