Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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