Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
