I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Randomize
