brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
