Dual....:-)
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize