You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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