Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
