Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
