I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
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turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
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I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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