do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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