sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
