Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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