I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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