i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
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I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
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I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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