Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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