I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
