Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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