Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
