Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
