I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
