We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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