I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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