look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Couch. On fire.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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