laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
