He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
