i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
