but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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