i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
