How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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