Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
