ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize