i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
