I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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