I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
