Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
