I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
