i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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