Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
