I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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