Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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