i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
