Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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