She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
These tits shall not be calmed
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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