Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
