is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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