A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
