I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
