She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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